Finding Your Mirror Is Important, But…

I’ve mentioned before that it’s important to find your mirror. By that I mean it’s important to find those that are similar to you, in terms of your values, interests, goals, etc.

But, that being said, it’s good to be well rounded and expose yourself to those that aren’t quiet similar to yourself. Duh, right? But how many people do you know that actually do this?

It not only gives you different life experiences, but exposes you to the type of lives others lead, and gives you a better understanding on how to deal with different personality types.

I have many friends that are similar to me, but many who aren’t, and some of their who are people that I would never want to be in debt too, but being around them I’ve learned how to stick handle things that may be touchy subjects. More importantly, you quickly learn how to be far more social than you’ve ever been before and how to adapt your way of talking to any situation, making people instantly feel comfortable around you.

So the next time your friends invite you out to a bar or a club, don’t automatically just say “No” because it’s not something you’re no use to. Go. Have fun. Enjoy it and talk to others. There is truly nothing more enriching to the human experience than just being around others and interacting with them. Seriously.

Your Mission Statement

Have you ever written a mission statement before? If not, I highly recommend you do. It’s a great way of prioritizing what your goals are, and more importantly, finding out what you want out of this one life that you have.

What do you want for yourself, for your family, for your career? What steps do you need to take to achieve your goals.

More importantly though, your mission statement should include how you want to live your life. Will it be a life of principals where your main priority is to be kinder to others and to yourself, or will it be a life focused on materials pursuits?

Write down your goals and visual them. Visualization has been used by some of the most successful people on the planet. It truly does help you feel that you are that person you want to be.

Don’t Be Timid

Life isn’t hard to figure out, I tell anyone that’ll listen.

Be kind to yourself, be kind to others. Love yourself, love others. Forgive yourself, forgive others. Follow your passions, and let others do the same. Simple stuff.

….Not really. We’re human, we’re complex and have an amazing ability to turn little things into tornado’s. We focus more on the little battles instead of the war.

One rule all men should follow is this: Don’t be timid.

If you want something, just go after it. What do you have to lose? Truthfully ask yourself that question? Misery comes from not pursuing your passions, not from not getting what you want. Making an attempt is half the battle, and will create a chemical reaction in your brain, making you work harder to stick with it. Once you stop, all those happy brain feeling chemicals stop too. The more you do it, the more happy feelings, and the less you do it, the more misery that comes your way.

Being timid is where your dreams go to die. It’s where a potential great future sinks in the ocean, never to be retrieved.

If your fear is failure, then that’s a silly fear. Nothing progresses without “failure”. The only way things can grow and improve is through failure. Bodybuilders workout until failure, that’s the only way their muscles will grow.

When you were a baby, the only way you learned was through trial and error, or, aka, failure. But it’s not failure, it’s just a progression until you become a master.

I’ve included the launch video of the Falcon Heavy which just launched into space recently. My favorite part is Elon Musk’s Tesla roadster coming into view and floating into space. That wasn’t done by timid people. This was done by people that followed their dreams.

Be like Elon.

It’s Always Worth Losing

It’s always worth losing. Why? Because it’s better than not trying anything at all.

Throughout most of my life, I was not a risk taker. I wanted to play it safe. Take the safe road, take the standard payoff, do the standard stuff that everyone else does. Most importantly, I didn’t want to “lose”. 

My issues were countless:

  • Didn’t want to be looked upon as a failure,
  • Terrified of be embarrassed by something that didn’t go my way,
  • Always felt like I was a loser anyway.

Lack of self-confidence in yourself is a debilitating and horrible thing. 

The reality of it was I was losing. By not taking any risks at all, I was losing out on the life my soul wanted (without me quite realizing it at that point) and opportunity cost of me just staying still was far greater than any bad thing that could have ever happened to me. 

It’s always worth losing as the opportunity cost is far greater

Your soul knows the life you’re destined to lead, but you drown it out with being “practical” about the reality of your situation. Your job, your kids, your parents, etc. There is a weak voice in your head that’s holding you back.

The secret of getting ahead is getting started
– Mark Twain

The biggest regret is not doing. Not going after your dreams, the partner you want, the business you want. If things don’t workout, the pain from it is nowhere near the pain from not even attempting to achieve your goals.

Deep down, we all know our path. We know what we want to do, but getting started is the hardest part. 

Never think of it as losing. Just think of it as living. You’re going after what you want, and sometimes you get positive feedback, and sometimes the feedback from the universe is that you need to keep trying. That you’re not ready quite yet.

When children go to school, they know they know nothing. It’s expected. They’re their to learn. As an adult we are no different. “Not yet”.

You Get The Oxygen Mask First

Take care of yourself first. Seem’s easy doesn’t it? One thing I’ve noticed lately about people in relationships and those with kids especially, is that they neglect to take care of themselves.

It all becomes about the kids, nothing more. “They” no longer exist. The person themselves is no longer really a person, they’re now just a robot that goes to work, makes money, comes home, does adult things and hopefully gets the kids to bed in time so they can relax for 5 minutes then pass out. 

Take Care Of Yourself First

The struggle is real.

As adults in a relationship and ones with kids, you have to remember that you are a still a person with needs that need to be met. Being a great parent doesn’t mean giving up your social life and sleep because of your kids.

I’m a father, it took me a while to realize this, but when I finally did, it was like I cracked the code to life.

You have to make time to see your friends, to just go out and sit by yourself and be able to think, to read, to just do what you want. This is all part of your mental health care. If you don’t do this your entire life will suffer tremendously. 

When you travel, before the plane takes off, the flight attendants will say that in case of an emergency, use the oxygen mask on yourself first, then your child. What good is it to use on the child first if you’re just going to die?

Remember, you’re going to meet your childs needs no matter what, you’re not a horrible person, but never forget that you have to take care of yourself as well. You being burned out and constantly frustrated is no good to anyone, not your children, and especially not yourself.

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