I have friends that are miserable. You probably have friends that are miserable. Perhaps you yourself are miserable. What is causing this misery? What is the path to happiness? Is it staring right at you?
Funny enough, the answer is in front of us; we hate our jobs and can’t figure out how to get out.
Again, funny enough, the way to get out is right in front of us.
We spend most of our time during the day at work. Getting to work, being at work, and then finally leaving work. Most people take their misery from work back home with them, which just creates a circle of never ending misery, not just for them but for their families as well.
Most people know the answer to fixing their problems – their soul is telling them constantly. It’s screaming inside them, but hey just don’t know the path to achieving their goals.
Again, the answer is in front of them; just do it.
The problem is your mind is setting a limitation for you. It’s telling you what you’d be happier doing, but it’s coming up with a billion reason for you to not risk it things because that could end up with disastrous results for you.
The reality is the human brain is great at making things appear harder than they are.
Speculative And Risky – The Way To Go For Your Life
Here’s a simple process to follow: Begin with the end in mind.
What’s your goal? Write it down. Now, begin with the steps you need to take on achieving it.
You have to be very disciplined in your approach. No time wasting, no wavering on things.
Just do it. Take a risk. You have nothing to lose. All the successful people on this planet started the same way. They had an idea and went after it.
Remember, there is no such thing as failure, just attempts and learning, that is not. You cannot fail because it doesn’t exist.
Parable of the Chinese Farmer
Once there was a Chinese farmer who worked his poor farm together with his son and their horse. When the horse ran off one day, neighbors came to say, “How unfortunate for you!” The farmer replied, “Maybe yes, maybe no.”
When the horse returned, followed by a herd of wild horses, the neighbors gathered around and exclaimed, “What good luck for you!” The farmer stayed calm and replied, “Maybe yes, maybe no.”
While trying to tame one of wild horses, the farmer’s son fell, and broke his leg. He had to rest up and couldn’t help with the farm chores. “How sad for you,” the neighbors cried. “Maybe yes, maybe no,” said the farmer.
Shortly thereafter, a neighboring army threatened the farmer’s village. All the young men in the village were drafted to fight the invaders. Many died. But the farmer’s son had been left out of the fighting because of his broken leg. People said to the farmer, “What a good thing your son couldn’t fight!” “Maybe yes, maybe no,” was all the farmer said.
There are a few different versions of this, but nevertheless, I love this parable, as the meaning behind it is so useful for our lives.
No one event in our lives, whether it’s divorce, a major health crisis, or anything else can truly be defined as fortunate or unfortunate, only time will tell us.
The goal should be to live your life in the moment and make the best of any situation – your life will be much easier.
I’ve been reading a lot of books lately, and one thing I’ve learned is don’t let the secondary let you lose focus of the primary.
Reading on the phone doesn’t count. Just doesn’t. I’ve been trying to just get rid of my phone as it’s a complete time suck and focus more on reading. Unfortunately it’s the main way I keep in touch with clients (I mean, I’m not going to hand write them letters) so I have no choice to keep it around.
One thing I’ve really picked up on as I’ve been reading more books lately about motivation, human nature, following our passions etc is that we often lose focus of the primary because of the secondary. We don’t begin with the end in mind, we begin with whatever we can capture first.
Don’t Let The Secondary Let You Lose Focus Of The Primary
Wanting to get into shape? You immediately think about the women you may start to attract. You want to pursue your passions? You immediately think about the amount of money you might make from it.
These things seem simple enough, but remember that you always had a vision at first, a great idea, something that excited you, and that we have to stay focused so the allure of material things don’t cloud our vision.
Don’t ever let the secondary let you lose focus of the primary, in anything in life.
I’ve mentioned before that it’s important to find your mirror. By that I mean it’s important to find those that are similar to you, in terms of your values, interests, goals, etc.
But, that being said, it’s good to be well rounded and expose yourself to those that aren’t quiet similar to yourself. Duh, right? But how many people do you know that actually do this?
It not only gives you different life experiences, but exposes you to the type of lives others lead, and gives you a better understanding on how to deal with different personality types.
I have many friends that are similar to me, but many who aren’t, and some of their who are people that I would never want to be in debt too, but being around them I’ve learned how to stick handle things that may be touchy subjects. More importantly, you quickly learn how to be far more social than you’ve ever been before and how to adapt your way of talking to any situation, making people instantly feel comfortable around you.
So the next time your friends invite you out to a bar or a club, don’t automatically just say “No” because it’s not something you’re no use to. Go. Have fun. Enjoy it and talk to others. There is truly nothing more enriching to the human experience than just being around others and interacting with them. Seriously.
Have you ever written a mission statement before? If not, I highly recommend you do. It’s a great way of prioritizing what your goals are, and more importantly, finding out what you want out of this one life that you have.
What do you want for yourself, for your family, for your career? What steps do you need to take to achieve your goals.
More importantly though, your mission statement should include how you want to live your life. Will it be a life of principals where your main priority is to be kinder to others and to yourself, or will it be a life focused on materials pursuits?
Write down your goals and visual them. Visualization has been used by some of the most successful people on the planet. It truly does help you feel that you are that person you want to be.
Life isn’t hard to figure out, I tell anyone that’ll listen.
Be kind to yourself, be kind to others. Love yourself, love others. Forgive yourself, forgive others. Follow your passions, and let others do the same. Simple stuff.
….Not really. We’re human, we’re complex and have an amazing ability to turn little things into tornado’s. We focus more on the little battles instead of the war.
One rule all men should follow is this: Don’t be timid.
If you want something, just go after it. What do you have to lose? Truthfully ask yourself that question? Misery comes from not pursuing your passions, not from not getting what you want. Making an attempt is half the battle, and will create a chemical reaction in your brain, making you work harder to stick with it. Once you stop, all those happy brain feeling chemicals stop too. The more you do it, the more happy feelings, and the less you do it, the more misery that comes your way.
Being timid is where your dreams go to die. It’s where a potential great future sinks in the ocean, never to be retrieved.
If your fear is failure, then that’s a silly fear. Nothing progresses without “failure”. The only way things can grow and improve is through failure. Bodybuilders workout until failure, that’s the only way their muscles will grow.
When you were a baby, the only way you learned was through trial and error, or, aka, failure. But it’s not failure, it’s just a progression until you become a master.
I’ve included the launch video of the Falcon Heavy which just launched into space recently. My favorite part is Elon Musk’s Tesla roadster coming into view and floating into space. That wasn’t done by timid people. This was done by people that followed their dreams.
Be like Elon.